Becoming a mother — the first time  

When I became a mother for the first time, everything shifted. What I expected to be a soft and joyful beginning turned into a much more challenging experience. My son struggled in the early months, and alongside that, I found myself facing something I hadn’t prepared for — postpartum depression.

It was a time that felt heavy, confusing, and overwhelming. And in many ways, it brought things to the surface in me that I hadn’t fully dealt with before. But through all of it, he became my light.He gave me a reason to look inward. To slow down. To do the work I had been avoiding. Not because I had to — but because I wanted to be better for him. And in that process, something shifted.

Motherhood didn’t make me lose myself in a negative way — it asked me to let go of a version of myself, so I could grow into someone more grounded, more patient, and more aligned. It wasn’t easy. But it was meaningful.  

Becoming a mother — the second time  

The second time felt completely different. Not because everything was easier — but because I was different. I had done the work. I trusted myself more. I knew that the hard phases pass. And for the first time, I truly experienced what people call the “newborn bubble.”

I wasn’t rushing to get my freedom back. I wasn’t questioning everything. I was just… there. Present, calm, and deeply grateful — knowing how fleeting this time is.  

What motherhood has taught me  

Motherhood doesn’t bring you back to who you were before. It moves you forward into something new. And yes — sometimes it feels like you’re losing yourself. But maybe that’s not something to fear. Maybe it’s part of becoming. A softer version. A stronger version. A more honest version. And slowly, with time, you find your way back to yourself — just in a new form.  

If I could say one thing  

Give yourself grace. It takes time to find your footing. It takes time to feel like yourself again. But you will. And the love you grow into — for your kids and for yourself — is bigger than you could have imagined.